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Let love be more durable

As the romantic passion of the three important factors - fantasy, novelty, and arousing - will abate with the passage of time, so romantic love will diminish. Of course, in many relationships, romantic love will not completely disappear, but it does lower the level of the partner decided to get married. This is for many couples would be an accident, but it helps to explain why such a high divorce rate in the United States: A common complaint is the magic is gone.

However, we do not want this news discouraging. On the contrary, we believe that it is on how to have a successful marriage, provided important suggestions. In general, to promote the love of people to get married is not so that they still hold hands after decades of peer-love. Intimacy is more stable than the passion. Therefore, the love of her friends is more stable than romantic love. As we previously noted, a happy marriage partner of the spouses expressed more friends with love. Such people are really happy: Although do not rely on passion, the love of her friends who is going through it and is also gratifying. As the intimacy and passion are interrelated, and become good friends will also help to maintain the passion.

Maybe we can from the above exposition to extract some suggestions. Enjoy the passion, but not as you wish to continue the relationship long-term basis; and to foster a friendship between lovers; efforts to maintain freshness; seize every opportunity to enjoy the novel with your spouse to explore. If the right partner ardent desire, but gradually evolved into a plain deep feelings, do not be surprised. This happy result may make you become a lover of luck.

Box 7.1

You may not want to experience a kind of love - unrequited love

Have you ever loved a man, and he / she does not love you? May have had. Because of different sample, 80% to 90% of young people reported that they have the experience of unrequited love: the romantic and strongly attracted by others, while the other does not love herself. This is a common experience, a person before the age of 20 years - 16 to 20 years old - seems to happen very often. However, not everyone will have this experience; and women than unrequited love are more likely to occur in men, more likely to occur in anxiety / contradictory attachment type of person who, rather than safety or escape-type people.

Why do we experience such a love? This may involve several factors. First of all, love that people will be reluctant to target the strong attraction they think the relationship with such an object was well worth the effort and expectations. Second, they overestimate their own optimism would be like the other levels. Third, and perhaps most important point is that, although very painful, unrequited love also has a return on nature. With the setbacks, could be lovers It is also experiencing a real living in the excitement felt in love, joy and excitement.

In fact, the goal of becoming one-sided love will feel worse. Indeed, by others to pursue good, but the recipient of unrequited love often find the pursuit of those who persistently intrusive, annoying, but refused to each other, often feel guilty. No malice, only to find himself in another persons emotional whirlpool, often they will be feeling the pain. When emotions come to realize that goal is not to become his stable mate, although he would distress, but the other side will feel even less .